At church this week the pastor asked us to pray for forgiveness that we might be ready to receive Communion.
Normally as I pray under these circumstances I am able to recite a laundry list of sins for which I wish to be forgiven.
On this occasion I simply tried to still my emotions and spirit. I asked the Lord to please show me how I had saddened Him the most. He knows all my sins and somehow He doesn't need a recital of these sins to forgive me of them.
As the music gently played in the background, I heard Him whisper lovingly, "You simply don't trust me my child. Don't you know nothing is too big for me?"
The silent tears began to course down my face as I realized how true this was. Yes, I have problems that seem immense to the average person. The $10,000 in medical bills, no health insurance, little income, a dying husband and raising two teenagers virtually alone are gigantic problems. However my God is not an average person. He has promised me He will always provide for me. He will always take what is evil or sad or disastrous in my life and turn it into good for His glory because He knows I love him.
The myriad of sins I could have uttered died on my lips as I confessed the sin of not trusting God. I had somehow elevated myself to the one who has all the answers. Most, if not all of those sins, were done in the name of solving every problem that continued to be thrown at me. I realized that God never asked me to solve every problem. He never asked me to be a super woman. All God has ever asked, and will ever ask, is that I trust Him. I need to trust God in every area of my life, even when it seems He is not working things out. Because God is perfect He is incapable of letting me down.
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Last updated: Dec. 7, 2010